Last night I went off my diet.  I had a major binge!  For dinner I had an entire bag of Cheetos!  This could be called the appetizer.  After I finished those off, I had some manicotti.  It was really good.  I can never turn down manicotti.  For desert I had Ben and Jerry’s, Cherry Garcia.  I gobbled down the one-pint carton in about 5 seconds flat.  After that I had a hazelnut and current dark chocolate bar.  This is my favorite kind of chocolate.  What a feast!  Now I am struggling to get back on my diet.  Wish me luck!

I do not believe there is a recession going on.  I think it is just political hype fueled by the media.  I do not know anyone who has lost a job or is having trouble finding a job.  When I go to the mall I see people shopping up a storm.  I have not just seen this shopping frenzy going on because of the Christmas season; I have seen it all year.  The mall has been busier than ever.  The chain stores are also really busy.  The only places that are probably struggling are the mom and pop stores.  This is sad but true.  The housing market is not doing too good and gas prices are up some.  I really do not think things are so bad.

I did not get enough sleep last night so I am kind of cranky.  I went off of my diet after only being on it for 5 days, so I am not proud of myself.  Mostly, I just lounged around all day.  I purchased a Sims 3 game for my iPod Touch.  I really like that game and it cheered me up.  My daughter is sleeping right now and I have been deciding what I want for Christmas.  I think I want the Wii Fit, that way I can work out and have fun at the same time.  Overall, despite being tired, my day was not too horrible.

Lately I’ve been thinking that I’m not really holding up to the responsibilities of being an adult. It feels like the clock ran down a year ago and that now I’m living on borrowed time, so to speak. Even though no one is bothering me to move out or do something with my life, I feel like I’ve let myself down by staying here and not really doing anything but teaching myself new skills. I at some times feel like I’m perhaps not really respectable and that bothers me, still I’m a good person, I try to better myself and care about everyone. I’m kind of dealing with the conflict of what is really important. Living in the world is necessary, people respecting and accepting you as normal is necessary, but it’s not as important to me as using my life for what I want, and becoming who I want to be. Therefore I can’t seem to motivate myself to try harder, even though part of me knows I should. I keep trying to find another way to live.

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